Sunday, March 13, 2016

Dress Boot Camp
Oh, boy.  Here we go again.  After the ordeal of finding mother-of-the bride dresses for both daughters' weddings, I never thought I'd be doing it again.  This time as a daughter of the bride. Life is full of surprises.

My mom at 79 is getting married again.  Hers and Warren's romance started after Christmas.  In three weeks they were engaged. Everyone who hears their story can't quit grinning. What a delight to find love again at this season of life. 

My mom has her dress. She scored with the first one she tried on. She looks regal and radiant in it.  I told Warren he was going to have a beautiful bride.  He said he's counting on it.

Mom and Warren
I don't have a dress.  There is nothing in my closet that fits, save for two pairs of jeans. One badly torn at the heel, the other a hand-me-down that has a bleach spot on the knee.

I admit it, I've put on a few pounds. I don't blame myself entirely.  I let up on working out after Paige's wedding.  I told myself, "You know I wouldn't have to work this hard just to stay healthy."  I shared this insight with a friend.  She told me what no one should ever say to a woman who is working to stave off the inevitable menopausal pot.  "You know, Jacci, you could gain 20 pounds and you'd still be skinny." That's all I needed to hear. Twenty pounds came on with absolutely no effort at all.

So, here we are. I need to find a dress to wear.  Dress shopping is an activity that makes me want to curl up into a ball sucking my thumb. It's about as fun as getting a root canal, having a colonoscopy, or standing in line at Walmart.

The thing is I do have a dress in my closet that would be perfect. It's the one I wore for Brad's wedding last year. It was a small miracle I found it.

I procrastinated until the last minute to find a dress for his wedding.  I was in denial when I told myself that if I worked hard enough I could wear one of my mother-of-the-bride dresses.  I realized as the days counted down to the wedding that it wasn't going to happen. Unfortunately, the week before the wedding I was down for the count with the flu, in bed feverish and shivering. I was too sick to go shopping and wondered if I'd even be well enough to make the flight to California.

I made a miraculous recovery the morning Landon and I were to leave. I put on Facebook an urgent request to borrow a dress. Several friends graciously delivered dresses to my house. 

None looked too good. I had woefully misjudged my size. Since there was no time and no other options, I stowed three of the dresses in my luggage and hoped for the best. Maybe if I sucked everything in and wore a jacket I could make one of them work.

We made it to California and spent the evening with Brad and his family. The next morning I tagged along with the guys to pick up the tuxes.  I walked into the little boutique and saw a clearance rack of dresses marked 75% off.  I looked through the dresses, not daring to believe there'd be one that would work. 

There it was. A beautiful dress, in the right color, in the right (realistic) size, and 75% off to boot. It even had a little jacket that covered my granny arms. I went into the dressing room.  I held my breath. I got it zipped!  Hallelujah!

The neckline plunged a bit immodestly though.  Not to worry. A wedding guest staying at our hotel had baby-sized safety pins and a needle and thread.  Saturday morning she pinned the straps up and sewed the neckline of the dress to my bra. Voila!

Brad and Karen's wedding was beautiful.  I wept at the reception.  I felt so blessed and honored to be part of their day. Wearing a dress that zipped made it all the better.

When Mom and Warren announced they were getting married, I smiled. I wouldn't have to go dress shopping.  I'd wear the one I had found for Brad's wedding.  I just needed to get it altered and dry cleaned.

I tried it on this morning. Dang it. I can't get it zipped. 

Heavy sigh. I have eight weeks.  Dress boot camp starts tomorrow.  

Mother-of-the-Bride Dress #1
Mother-of-the-Bride Dress #2

Dress photo from